"Is this too sexy?" ~ Kim Kardashian via http://bit.ly/sIFojJ
Near the end of 2009, I began sharing my dad’s stories online, beginning with the collection called The Road South. I put them on Scribd, a social document sharing and reading site. After a little practice, by tweeting about the stories, playing on curiosity and using hashtags liberally, I was able to get 1,000 clicks for free in one day. A while later, I removed the stories from Scribd (don’t ask me why), and I’ve only just recently put them back up (and more are coming). This means the links (and shortened bit.ly links) to those old Scribd documents are broken links. But I wanted to reuse the old tweets, perhaps with some edits. And with the help of the tool Timely.is (which schedules tweets when they’ll get the most visibility or engagement), it’ll be a cinch to get 1,000s of clicks (and reads and listens) to my dad’s stories once again.
I must clarify: there were many tweets per story. These coincided with the many reasons to read a particular story, or the many subjects of curiosity which would attract people’s attention and make them want to read, or the many funny or provocative things that were written or said by characters.
[I'll draw a parallel here... Each service or product you sell should have many tweets prepared for it. There should be tweets for all the benefits, perhaps for all the features, and surely for the points of curiosity as well. When these tweets are tweeted (and they may be repeated) they will work both together and on their own to get clicks to your website, specifically to the individual product page. Some people will see several of your tweets about a thing and then click a link, while others may click the first time they see a tweet about it. It's more common, though, that they would act after some repetition.]
To make it quick and easy to replace the old links in the old tweets with new links, I wrote a little Perl program and I want to share it with you so you can save time too.
The program reads an input file and produces and output file. The way it works is this… To tell it what the new link is, simply put the new shortened bit.ly link on its own line with no spaces before or after. The whole line is the link. That’s taken as a command to replace any links it sees afterwards (until the replacement link is changed to something else by the same method) with that link, whether those links are shortened or full length and regardless of how many links there are on a single line. The input file is just that, new shortened bit.ly links on their own lines followed by a series of tweets, one on each line. It can have empty lines, titles, headings and whatever else you want, that won’t be changed, will simply be copied into the output file.
Here’s the Perl program and sample input and output data to illustrate and make this clearer and easier to use yourself.
But before I show it to you, I’ve got to say this… Recently, I’ve been recording my dad, Dick Bird, telling his stories (new ones, not the 80 he’d already written) and we’re putting them together in a new collection called Off the Cuff. (You can listen to them on his new site, DicksTravels.com) We’ve been writing tweets for these new stories (we haven’t tweeted them yet) and I figured the program should be updated to automatically append these tweets with the shortened bit.ly links to the individual stories. So the second program listing (and associated data) is for that purpose. It not only replaces links as the first does, it also appends links to all lines without links in them.
Okay, here goes… (And two notes: the data files, you won’t see the whole lines here, but they’re there and you can copy-paste each whole code block to a file (I’ve given the filenames), secondly: sorry about the lack of indentation in the code, WordPress removed it and this is the first time I shared some perl on my blog. Let me know (COMMENT) if you can do it better.)
replace-links-in-tweets.pl
# usage example:
# perl replace-links-in-tweets.pl dickstravels-oldTRStweets
# lineage:
# from dickstravels-make-new-pages.pl
# description:
# Takes bit.ly links on their own line (no spaces after it allowed!) as the current replacement
# Replaces any links on subsequent lines with the current replacement,
# regardless of how many links there are or how long or short they are
# written by Bevan Bird... Find me at http://bevanbird.com
use English;
# get input from command line
my $inputfile = $ARGV[0];
my $outputfile = $inputfile;
$inputfile .= ".txt";
$outputfile .= "-replaced.txt";
open(INPUT, "<", $inputfile) or die $!;
open(OUTPUT, ">", $outputfile) or die $!;
my $replacement_link;
while(<INPUT>) {
chomp;
if ($_ =~ /^http:\/\/bit\.ly\/[^\s]+$/){
$replacement_link = $_;
}else{
$_ =~ s/(http:\/\/[^\s]+)/$replacement_link/g;
}
print OUTPUT $_ . "\n";
}
close(INPUT) or die $!;
close(OUTPUT) or die $!;
dickstravels-oldTRStweets.txt
http://bit.ly/se76SD The Road South #ebook blends black #humour, #travel, #sex, #fantasy, social issues, & extreme kayaking. >> http://bit.ly/6dK2FP Check out The Road South short story collection and listen to them too! >> http://bit.ly/6dK2FP Road South #ebook >> http://bit.ly/6dK2FP #fiction #travel #humour #kayak #safari #nude #revolution Road South #ebook >> http://bit.ly/6dK2FP #fiction #culture #diving #fantasy #farming #humour http://bit.ly/tPdGdz Sexy Women, Men of Steel http://bit.ly/7lLVZD #story #fiction #travel #tropics #babe #reading http://bit.ly/thZqF8 Papa Chango http://bit.ly/8eHZiZ #story #fiction #strange #adventure #action #tropics #babes #surgery http://bit.ly/vBkKfF Totally Unreal http://bit.ly/8iyzEb #story #fiction #fire #cyber #punk #conformist #VR #tech #future http://bit.ly/ufymzE Sexy Women, Men of Steel http://bit.ly/tPdGdz Sexy Women, Men of Steel >> http://bit.ly/7lLVZD #fiction #travel via @DicksTravels Short story "Sexy Women, Men of Steel" http://bit.ly/7lLVZD #prose #fiction #travel #culture So beautifully written, it borders on poetry, rather than prose. Not a word is wasted. ~ @Literatrix http://bit.ly/7lLVZD Sexy Women, Men of Steel >> http://bit.ly/7lLVZD #story #fiction #travel #babe It’s got to be her milk that makes them wild. A suckle would perk me up too when I’m feeling droopy. http://bit.ly/7lLVZD One night she breaks. In the darkened kitchen I find her crying. The other kids are asleep. http://bit.ly/7lLVZD Growing up to be sexy ladies. Fire in their eyes to scorch men of steel. http://bit.ly/7lLVZD He’s putting a match to the fuse and opening the window, hurling a home-made bomb at the hostile rain. http://bit.ly/7lLVZD "So ashamed they can’t ogle her tits." Sexy Women, Men of Steel >> http://bit.ly/7lLVZD #story #travel "Mujeres sensitivas, hombres fuertes y de acero... sensitive women, strong men of steel" (los Angeles del Puerto) http://bit.ly/7lLVZD Lighten Up, Papa Chango http://bit.ly/thZqF8 Voluptuous Beach Girls http://bit.ly/8eHZiZ #story #fiction #strange #adventure #action #tropics #babes #surgery Lighten Up, Papa Chango http://bit.ly/8eHZiZ #story #fiction #strange #adventure #action #tropics #sexy #babes #surgery In Zipolite, Oaxaca, el Zopilote del Norte kayak-surfs at the beach and observes the local culture. >> http://bit.ly/7CuPWX One of my favourite stories is "Lighten Up, Papa Chango", you can read it here: http://bit.ly/8eHZiZ ...
dickstravels-oldTRStweets-replaced.txt
http://bit.ly/se76SD The Road South #ebook blends black #humour, #travel, #sex, #fantasy, social issues, & extreme kayaking. >> http://bit.ly/se76SD Check out The Road South short story collection and listen to them too! >> http://bit.ly/se76SD Road South #ebook >> http://bit.ly/se76SD #fiction #travel #humour #kayak #safari #nude #revolution Road South #ebook >> http://bit.ly/se76SD #fiction #culture #diving #fantasy #farming #humour http://bit.ly/tPdGdz Sexy Women, Men of Steel http://bit.ly/tPdGdz #story #fiction #travel #tropics #babe #reading http://bit.ly/thZqF8 Papa Chango http://bit.ly/thZqF8 #story #fiction #strange #adventure #action #tropics #babes #surgery http://bit.ly/vBkKfF Totally Unreal http://bit.ly/vBkKfF #story #fiction #fire #cyber #punk #conformist #VR #tech #future http://bit.ly/ufymzE Sexy Women, Men of Steel http://bit.ly/tPdGdz Sexy Women, Men of Steel >> http://bit.ly/tPdGdz #fiction #travel via @DicksTravels Short story "Sexy Women, Men of Steel" http://bit.ly/tPdGdz #prose #fiction #travel #culture So beautifully written, it borders on poetry, rather than prose. Not a word is wasted. ~ @Literatrix http://bit.ly/tPdGdz Sexy Women, Men of Steel >> http://bit.ly/tPdGdz #story #fiction #travel #babe It’s got to be her milk that makes them wild. A suckle would perk me up too when I’m feeling droopy. http://bit.ly/tPdGdz One night she breaks. In the darkened kitchen I find her crying. The other kids are asleep. http://bit.ly/tPdGdz Growing up to be sexy ladies. Fire in their eyes to scorch men of steel. http://bit.ly/tPdGdz He’s putting a match to the fuse and opening the window, hurling a home-made bomb at the hostile rain. http://bit.ly/tPdGdz "So ashamed they can’t ogle her tits." Sexy Women, Men of Steel >> http://bit.ly/tPdGdz #story #travel "Mujeres sensitivas, hombres fuertes y de acero... sensitive women, strong men of steel" (los Angeles del Puerto) http://bit.ly/tPdGdz Lighten Up, Papa Chango http://bit.ly/thZqF8 Voluptuous Beach Girls http://bit.ly/thZqF8 #story #fiction #strange #adventure #action #tropics #babes #surgery Lighten Up, Papa Chango http://bit.ly/thZqF8 #story #fiction #strange #adventure #action #tropics #sexy #babes #surgery In Zipolite, Oaxaca, el Zopilote del Norte kayak-surfs at the beach and observes the local culture. >> http://bit.ly/thZqF8 One of my favourite stories is "Lighten Up, Papa Chango", you can read it here: http://bit.ly/thZqF8 ...
link-tweets.pl
# usage example:
# perl link-tweets.pl "C:\Users\Bevan\Documents\My Work\Dick's Travels\dickstravels-tweets-by-titles-with-links"
# lineage:
# from replace-links-in-tweets.pl
# description:
# Takes bit.ly links on their own line (no spaces after it allowed!) as the current appendix
# For subsequent lines...
# if they have link(s), the link(s) is replaced with the current replacement...
# regardless of how many links there are or how long or short they are!
# if they do not have a link,
# if there are hashtag(s)
# a link is inserted as signified by {L}
# otherwise,
# a link is appended
# and then if the resulting line is too long for a tweet, it is marked with its length
# written by Bevan Bird... Find me at http://bevanbird.com
use English;
# get input from command line
my $inputfile = $ARGV[0];
my $outputfile = $inputfile;
$inputfile .= ".txt";
$outputfile .= "-linked.txt";
open(INPUT, "<", $inputfile) or die $!;
open(OUTPUT, ">", $outputfile) or die $!;
my $replacement_link;
while(<INPUT>) {
chomp;
#print "$_\n";
if ($_ =~ /^http:\/\/bit\.ly\/[^\s]+$/){
$replacement_link = $_;
#print "$replacement_link\n";
}else{
$_ =~ s/(http:\/\/[^\s]+)/$replacement_link/g;
if (!($_ =~ /http:\/\/bit\.ly\/[^\s]+/) && length($_)){
$l = length($replacement_link) + length($_) + 1;
if ($_ =~ /\#/){
$l -= 4;
$replacer = include_link_left_delimter($l) . $replacement_link;
$_ =~ s/{L}/$replacer/;
}else{
$replacer = " " . include_link_left_delimter($l) . $replacement_link;
$_ .= $replacer;
}
$l = length($_);
}
if ($l>140){ #too long for a tweet
$_ = "************************************ TOO LONG ("
. $l . " characters here... ) ***************************** " . $_;
}
}
print OUTPUT $_ . "\n";
}
close(INPUT) or die $!;
close(OUTPUT) or die $!;
sub include_link_left_delimter
{
my $l = shift;
if ($l>140){ #too long for a tweet
return ">> ";
}elsif ($l<138){
return ">> ";
}elsif ($l<139){
return "> ";
}else{
return "";
}
}
dickstravels-OTC-tweets.txt
http://bit.ly/t6u0Zg If you think I'm going to sleep on the beach now, you're mistaken. She’s a bit nervous already, the thought of being bait for an ambush / massacre won't do anything for her tranquility. Having these two garrulous, gastrically-stricken policemen guffawing in her bar wasn't doing her trade any good. That wasn't my fault, it was a government customs-man who did the typing. People found their bank accounts wiped out overnight by a stroke of a pen. I opened the hood and a flock of rats jumped out! We had our hammocks slung from hooks in the walls and had a comfortable night's sleep. Finally we got our traveller's cheques in Merida. Following the route I'd taken in '74... Chichen Itza, Valladolid, Cancun and Tulum, my favourite beach. We devoted our days to sunbathing and swimming and diving in the sea and the coral reef and spearing fish. Getting coconuts down from the palms and with my machete opening them and drinking the juice. Having a lovely time. We were getting ready for bed and saw a search light come through the trees... We froze. I said, "Don't worry, the Army's on our side." Too bad, we really need to buy a car... they looked hungrily at the Fiat. A little bullshit goes a long way in Mexico. Usually you get double the value of a car in Mexico... and the Army... they've probably got lots of money. He and a corporal got in the car and they drove off at furious speed crashing through the bush, falling into potholes. With the night vision binoculars I could see the outline of a yatch and three people on deck dropping the sails. http://bit.ly/thZqF8 Sita and Will are frolicking naked in the foam. Two sunburnt gringas in remnants of dresses lean over the hull of an upturned boat. ‘Don’t want to get the fishermen too excited,’ Sita grins. ‘They’re crazy enough already.’ Two sunburnt gringas... The wind playfully tosses their dresses up over their backsides. Will’s eyes glaze with lust as he noses the car down the loose gravel path to the landing-stage. They gesture at the beached fishing boats. ‘They came in empty. No more today.’ ‘Don’t stop!’ he yells as I hesitate over the clutch pedal, then think better of it. I slam on the pedals to hold it balanced over nothing for a few agonizing seconds... ‘A bowline on the bumper and a turn around that tree!’ My voice is a chango-monkey screech. ‘Hey, lighten up old man,’ says Sita severely. ‘You look like a bomb about to explode.’ My dread of crashing into concrete is replaced by terror of a gap in the boards... I'm feeling fragile in the flesh and leery of wrecked cars and machinery in general. A mureña - moray (wolf) eel? Why don’t you kill it before it bites you?’ ‘You jabbed it in the face?’ he exclaims in wonder. ‘And it let you go?’
dickstravels-OTC-tweets-linked.txt
http://bit.ly/t6u0Zg If you think I'm going to sleep on the beach now, you're mistaken. >> http://bit.ly/t6u0Zg She’s a bit nervous already, the thought of being bait for an ambush / massacre won't do anything for her tranquility. http://bit.ly/t6u0Zg Having these two garrulous, gastrically-stricken policemen guffawing in her bar wasn't doing her trade any good. >> http://bit.ly/t6u0Zg That wasn't my fault, it was a government customs-man who did the typing. >> http://bit.ly/t6u0Zg People found their bank accounts wiped out overnight by a stroke of a pen. >> http://bit.ly/t6u0Zg I opened the hood and a flock of rats jumped out! >> http://bit.ly/t6u0Zg We had our hammocks slung from hooks in the walls and had a comfortable night's sleep. >> http://bit.ly/t6u0Zg Finally we got our traveller's cheques in Merida. >> http://bit.ly/t6u0Zg Following the route I'd taken in '74... Chichen Itza, Valladolid, Cancun and Tulum, my favourite beach. >> http://bit.ly/t6u0Zg We devoted our days to sunbathing and swimming and diving in the sea and the coral reef and spearing fish. >> http://bit.ly/t6u0Zg Getting coconuts down from the palms and with my machete opening them and drinking the juice. Having a lovely time. >> http://bit.ly/t6u0Zg We were getting ready for bed and saw a search light come through the trees... We froze. >> http://bit.ly/t6u0Zg I said, "Don't worry, the Army's on our side." >> http://bit.ly/t6u0Zg Too bad, we really need to buy a car... they looked hungrily at the Fiat. >> http://bit.ly/t6u0Zg A little bullshit goes a long way in Mexico. >> http://bit.ly/t6u0Zg Usually you get double the value of a car in Mexico... and the Army... they've probably got lots of money. >> http://bit.ly/t6u0Zg He and a corporal got in the car and they drove off at furious speed crashing through the bush, falling into potholes. http://bit.ly/t6u0Zg With the night vision binoculars I could see the outline of a yatch and three people on deck dropping the sails. >> http://bit.ly/t6u0Zg http://bit.ly/thZqF8 Sita and Will are frolicking naked in the foam. >> http://bit.ly/thZqF8 Two sunburnt gringas in remnants of dresses lean over the hull of an upturned boat. >> http://bit.ly/thZqF8 ‘Don’t want to get the fishermen too excited,’ Sita grins. ‘They’re crazy enough already.’ >> http://bit.ly/thZqF8 Two sunburnt gringas... The wind playfully tosses their dresses up over their backsides. >> http://bit.ly/thZqF8 Will’s eyes glaze with lust as he noses the car down the loose gravel path to the landing-stage. >> http://bit.ly/thZqF8 They gesture at the beached fishing boats. ‘They came in empty. No more today.’ >> http://bit.ly/thZqF8 ‘Don’t stop!’ he yells as I hesitate over the clutch pedal, then think better of it. >> http://bit.ly/thZqF8 I slam on the pedals to hold it balanced over nothing for a few agonizing seconds... >> http://bit.ly/thZqF8 ‘A bowline on the bumper and a turn around that tree!’ My voice is a chango-monkey screech. >> http://bit.ly/thZqF8 ‘Hey, lighten up old man,’ says Sita severely. ‘You look like a bomb about to explode.’ >> http://bit.ly/thZqF8 My dread of crashing into concrete is replaced by terror of a gap in the boards... >> http://bit.ly/thZqF8 I'm feeling fragile in the flesh and leery of wrecked cars and machinery in general. >> http://bit.ly/thZqF8 A mureña - moray (wolf) eel? Why don’t you kill it before it bites you?’ >> http://bit.ly/thZqF8 ‘You jabbed it in the face?’ he exclaims in wonder. ‘And it let you go?’ >> http://bit.ly/thZqF8
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